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Another kind of sunshine

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Here I come, gently, along the path, over Dongshan, to your grave. Time flies. A year has passed. Father, how are you in heaven? I just want to see you silently again, accompany you to talk about your heart’s words.     First, the sun came out. The spring sun shines on this mountain path full of weeds, like a pair of gentle hands caressing the green stems and vines, and the flowers and plants around it are bathed in the sun, growing joyfully and blooming brightly in charm..   When I was a child, I always liked to let my father carry it and play on the mountain.. At that time, my father’s back was as tall and straight as a mountain peak and as comfortable as sunshine.   When I was four years old, I picked wild flowers from a tree on your back, accidentally fell down and was scratched on the left eyebrow bone by a branch.. Later, you always touched my scar and said, ” Dad is sorry for you.”. In fact, father, you didn’t apologize to me. I’d like to rest on your back forever, just as warm as the sun, even if it was scratched 1000 times or 10000 times, I would also like to.   At that time, you always took care of me like the sun took care of the grass. At the age of nine, I have just arrived in Shanghai to go to school. Maybe the children in the countryside are out of group. I am often isolated by my classmates.. On one occasion, a classmate dropped some coins to buy popsicles and falsely accused me of stealing them from the teacher. And the teacher did not do the investigation, asserted that it was me. When my young heart was hurt, my father stepped forward and wrote many letters to the Education Bureau and the school authorities to reflect the situation.. At his insistence, he found out the facts and restored my innocence. However, the teacher in charge held a grudge and tried every means to spite me on my joining the Young Pioneers. After my father knew it, he used many relationships and transferred me to another school to give me a comfortable learning environment. Want to know, my father is a man who stresses principles in everything. In my memory, only once did he use relations.   Father, I sit in front of your grave and look at the mounds like steamed buns. The sunlight is hidden in the green undulating vines, warming the uneven weeds. I know that you are the sunshine in my life, warming me, warming this home until the end of my life. I wish my father had a home in heaven so that you could enjoy the warmth of being protected by the sun..     Second, from primary school to secondary school, with the growth of age, my mind has also changed, and I always feel the temperature of the sunshine in my heart has changed and is not as warm as before..   Ignorant teenagers love to play and are always careless about their studies. They often do wrong questions carelessly during exams.. There are many times when I can get full marks, but I always get 98 or Ninty – Nine by mistake.. Father was very angry and criticized me severely with a straight face: You must be careful and careful in doing things so that you can have a foothold in the society in the future.. At this moment, the father was very dignified and did not dote on him at all.   Gradually, I grew up with a rebellious mentality, thinking that I grew up and didn’t have to listen to your adults in everything. I was able to face life independently.. And you have too much control, everything seems to be considered well for me, everything must be done according to your adult’s plan, and you can’t take the wrong step. You are just like the sunshine in summer, too warm and hot to be a bit harsh. There is also less and less talk between us, and there is a dreary gap between us.. Therefore, after taking an examination of the university and graduating from the university, I did not want to stay in my native land at all and chose to drift in a foreign land.. Although your heavy sigh is full of discontent, you still have the care of telling and giving up your eyes.. You always comfort your mother: The child is old and has his own ideas. It is better for him to rush in..   Later, my mother died prematurely, which was related to my determination to drift away from home and make her old man worry too much.. For this reason, I have been deeply guilty. But my father showed kindness and wiped away my tears with his big hands and said, ” Don’t be sad. As long as you live well, it is the greatest relief to your mother and me.”.     After years of wandering, I finally returned to you while my mother was seriously ill. At this moment, I found that the tall and strong father in the impression was really old, with gray temples, wrinkled face, tall and straight waist and quivering walk, like the sunshine in autumn, no longer so hot.   I’ve just entered a foreign-funded enterprise in Shanghai, and I’m very busy. I don’t have much time to accompany my mother in front of her bed.. Whether it’s surgery or chemotherapy, my father quietly stayed by her side for several nights without sleep, and your fingers and toes were too swollen to write or walk, but you didn’t say a word for fear that my work would be affected..   At that time, I discovered that the sunshine in my heart was much more tender and warm. Later, I felt more and more kindness in the sunshine.   After your mother left, you became both father and mother and worked hard to run our family.   Remember, one year, you squatted in front of your mother’s grave, pulled out weeds, dog tail grass, sawtooth grass, wild wormwood, etc. with trembling hands, and said, ” I am a weed, and I am doomed to work hard all my life.”.   No, father, you are not a weed, you are the sunshine in my heart, and I have been sucking nutrition from you. You are a poor scholar in your family. You have had several opportunities to go to sea to do business, but you gave up in vain in order not to leave home. I know you can’t put me down, nor can you put down the lofty qualities of a scholar, but you have made your life miserable and miserable, but you have never said a word of complaint..Your attitude towards life is light, tough and proud, just like the sun shining on me, a kind of Zen realm that will always spur me on..     Four, father, your grave is full of unknown yellow flowers, and under the sun’s moisture, your smile extends out of the land gap at the tomb.. I know that you like flowers. There used to be flowers in the yard at home.. There is no one here to plant flowers for you, so you can let wild flowers shine overhead, add some fragrance to those weeds and kill loneliness.   It suddenly occurred to me that I grew up in the sun like these little flowers and grass.. Now, I have grown up, and you and I are separated by yin and yang, but life can no longer be reincarnated.   I made a grass ring for you with grass, placed it gently on the top of your grave and next to the yellow flower to let you know that the most beloved and disobedient disobedient son has ever been here, and let the green grass give you a ride in the sun, so that the warmth can comfort your heavenly soul..   I have to go, quietly leave alone, father! I want to go back to Shanghai, look back at my hometown in the drifting land, and look back at the sunshine that once shone on me.. I can’t take away your grave, nor can I take away sunshine, nor can I take away endless thoughts. Let me gather a piece of grass in the sun on your tomb, clip it in my favorite book, and be a bookmark so that I can see your kind eyes and shallow smile like the sun through the grass from time to time..